


In The Wake Of Nightmares Follow Dreams

by TheBlueMistress



Series: The Tales Of Sirius Black And Minerva McGonagall [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22363852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlueMistress/pseuds/TheBlueMistress
Summary: Minerva is spending the night at Grimmauld Place. Unfortunately, sleep has found a way to elude her. Can a certain someone help her forget about her fears and bring her the peace and rest she's longing for, as well as the love she never thought she'd find? Read to find out!
Relationships: Sirius Black/Minerva McGonagall
Series: The Tales Of Sirius Black And Minerva McGonagall [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609807
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	In The Wake Of Nightmares Follow Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first time writing anything that involves Sirius, so the pairing is also completely new to me. I like it, though, so I tried my hand at it. Please drop me a review to let me know whether you loved or hated it and why. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I never will either.

**In The Wake Of Nightmares Follow Dreams**

Minerva shivers as she sits down on the large window sill. She's tried to get rid of the bone deep cold that has settled over her by taking a scalding hot shower, but to no avail. The cup of tea she's holding doesn't seem to be helping either; her hands are no warmer than the rest of her.

She really should be getting some rest. It's three in the morning on a Saturday, and she had been awake since seven o'clock on Friday. To add to that, she has to mark the essays she set her third year students last week later. She should have done it days ago, but it's been a really busy week for the Order of the Phoenix.

Thinking of the Order of course made her think of what had happened to Arthur Weasley and how Harry Potter had known. The boy had been in such a state that she would have forced Albus to send him to Grimmauld Place, the same place she was now at, if he hadn't done it of his own accord. Harry had needed to be with the only family he had after the ordeal, and she would have seen to it had it been necessary.

But not entirely because she cares about Harry, although that is the reason she would give Albus should he ask why she was so relieved when he mentioned Sirius. She had her own, personal reason and she will keep it quiet no matter what. She has been a private person all of her life, so it really isn't that hard. Although she shouldn't be making it any harder on herself, as she had been doing for a while now.

Because being at Grimmauld Place gives her time to think, among other things. She can't help but see the face of the man she loves but can never tell of her feelings, can't help but remember their conversations and the way he seems so truly unaware of hos absolutely gorgeous he is.

Suddenly, she hears the door at the far end of the room open. She doesn't bother turning around; it's probably Molly or one of the Weasley children, or possibly Harry or Hermione. They have all been having restless nights.

But whoever has entered doesn't speak, which most would have done. There's only one person who would keep his silence and not back out of the room upon finding her in it. She can feel her heart miss a beat as she recognises his unique scent, telling her she is right and making her aware of the predicament she's in now.

"Good morning, Sirius. Couldn't sleep?" she asks, slowly turning to face the man. She finds him standing a scant few inches from her, which surprises her. She should have known he was that close before she turned around. Then again, she has been a little out of sorts as of late. And it's beginning to show, even Albus has remarked that she seems unusually distracted, and that's saying a lot.

"Not really. I closed my eyes for a bit, but I've been tossing and turning for two hours now. I got frustrated and here I am. How about you?" he asks her, true concern shining through in his voice. Or at least, that's what she thinks the emotion she can detect in it to be.

She rests her back against the window before answering his question, suppressing the urge to shiver more than she already is. Sirius may look more at peace than he has been for the last few days, but that doesn't mean he's ready to shoulder some of the weight she's carrying around.

"Sleep seems to have found a way of eluding me as well, I'm afraid. I came in an hour ago, but my bed wasn't as tempting as it should have been. Not even after the wonderful shower I took. So I wandered back down here to make myself a cup of tea. The brew's almost cold now, but it hasn't done anything to make me more sleepy," she says, surprising herself with her honesty.

Sirius grins at those words, moving away from her. He flops down onto the couch unceremoniously, making her smile; the man is much more at ease here now that the house is being used as Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix than when he lived her with his parents. It makes her heart rejoice.

"It wouldn't be Dolores Umbridge and Arthur Weasley and my godson that are keeping you up now, would it?" he says, amusement lacing the words. He's looking at her intently, and she knows she had no choice but to speak the truth. Those grey eyes will detect any lie she utters, she is sure of it.

"As a matter of fact, they are the ones I keep thinking about, alongside one other. Dolores has been pushing to get Albus out of the caste, and she's coming too damn close for my liking. She's hurting students, Sirius. The scars she leaves with her Blood Quill… And there's nothing to be done about it. Fudge is turning a blind eye to it. And Albus has lost so much of his power because of the decrees," she says, not bothering to hide the tremor of pain and sadness in her voice.

She closes her eyes for a second then, trying to keep from seeing Harry's hand with the scars and from worrying more than she already is. If she starts with that she won't be sleeping at all tonight, and that certainly isn't an option. She has another shift for the Order the next day and classes to teach on Monday.

"Why don't you tell me about Arthur too now that you're at it? it helps to talk about it, you know. I learnt that when Remus got himself in such a state keeping his lycanthropy a secret from us. He immediately looked better when he told us," Sirius confides in her, surprising her.

She pushes the emotion down, though, as Sirius might feel a little too full of himself if he realises what he has done. And she isn't sure she could deal with a too full of himself Sirius Black right now. Or what might come of it. In the end, she simply complies with his request so the silence cannot become uncomfortable.

"Arthur nearly died. It made me painfully aware of how quickly one's life can end. Not because I'm afraid of death, don't get me wrong. More because it's reminded me that living without regrets is difficult is there's so little time to undo the wrongs you've done and move past the regrets you inevitable end up with," she says. It's not a complete lie, even if she does leave out the fact it's reminded her she's lost her heart to Sirius and he doesn't know it.

Sirius seems not to realise, and she breathes a silent sigh of relief. What she does see, is that he is shifting a little. Before she can think any more about it, he pats the couch next to him. Without saying anything, she rises from the window sill and moves over towards him. When she sits down, he moves closer to her, so close in fact that his legs comes to rest against her own. It makes her very aware of the fact he's right there, right beside her, but it also provides a comfort she hadn't known it could provide.

She lets Sirius pry the cup out of her hands to place it on the small table in front of them, ignoring the way his fingers brush against hers as he does that. Leaning back a little more comfortably, she simply listens to the words Sirius utters next, as she has no idea what to do or say.

"You're not old, Minerva. Trust me. Now, what about Harry? What has he done to warrant your worrying about him? No more than what I already know, I might hope?" he says, the teasing tone clearly audible to her. She chuckles a little at that. It's the first time since she returned to Grimmauld Place that she's actually felt happy.

She decides to pretend she didn't hear those first two short sentences, as he seems unaware he's just said something unexpected. She has no desire to make him move away from her, as it's been a few months since she's had the chance to be so close to him. And in such an unobstructed manner, no less.

"No, he hasn't done anything you're not aware of. I just keep replaying all of the conversations I've had with him in an attempt to see what I could have done differently, how I could have stopped Dolores from giving him another scar. I spoke to him yesterday and he said I shouldn't blame myself, that I couldn't have done anything. But I'm not so sure," she admits, one of her hands clenching into a tight fist.

Sirius's hand comes to rest on her upper leg. Respectfully low, of course, but still. He squeezes slightly and she feels the support he's trying to offer. She unconsciously lifts the unclenched hand and covers his with it, making him gasp softly. She looks at him now, her eyebrow raised a little.

"Your hands are freezing! Dear Lord… Come here," he utters, pulling her a little closer to him and taking her other hand in his as well. She uncurls it, making it easier for him to hold on. The touch is novel and she revels in it, but she is scared by it as well. Things are rapidly spinning out of control and she doesn't know how to deal with it.

For a few moments, they sit still and silent beside each other, almost like stone statues. Then, Sirius summons a blanket. When she makes to protest, he raises his hand and she shuts her mouth again. Sirius tucks the blanket in around her before settling down and slipping his hand under the blanket to take a hold of hers again.

Minerva is now utterly aware something is shifting between them. It's as if Sirius is finally telling her what's she's been wanting to hear for a good long while now, even if he's not exactly speaking. But he can't be, she tells herself, as he couldn't possibly have fallen for someone like her. She was old and no longer beautiful.

"You said there's someone else who's been on your mind lately. Care to tell me who he or she is? You don't have to if you don't want to, of course," Sirius whispers, so softly she wouldn't have heard if she had been any less close to him.

She considers not telling him, but rids herself of the notion very quickly. They're sitting here, together, holding hands. Even if he doesn't love her in the same way she loves him, she's sure they needn't disappear from each other's lives entirely. And it wouldn't be fair to continue this; she needed to know how he felt and she needed to know how she felt. It's as easy as that.

"I've been thinking about you a lot as well. I keep seeing your face in my dreams. That happy look you had when Harry was born or when James and Lily got married. The sad look you have on your face when you remember they're not here anymore to see their son grow up. That wistful look you get about you sometimes that makes me wonder what you're thinking of. I've been seeing them all these past weeks," she admits.

Sirius's free hand comes up to tip up her face, which she has lowered whilst speaking without realising it. The smile he gives her lights up his gorgeous grey eyes and makes the nervous knots that have settled in her stomach dissolve.

"Those wistful looks you mentioned? Well, I look that way when I'm thinking of you. I've been seeing your face every time I close my eyes. The pursed lips when you're angry, the soft smiles you give Harry and his friends whenever you see them, the tender looks you spare each and every one of us when you think we're not looking. I caught a glimpse of that tenderness when I stood beside Harry and you stepped in for a quick word with Albus at the end of his fourth year. In the last months, I've seen that side of you more often. It's one of the reasons I've fallen in love with you," Sirius tells her softly.

Minerva sees the truth in the statement, but she cannot help but be grateful he isn't doing anything more than touching her cheek and one of her hands at the moment. She needs to talk to him a little longer, and if he were to kiss her, she wouldn't talk. She would simply kiss him until sleep came to claim either one or both of them and that would lead to a rather uncomfortable situation in the morning.

"I have fallen in love with you too, Sirius. With your courage and determination, with you plain and simple. But I'm no young woman anymore. I have my scars and my past, both of which will never leave me. Are you sure this is what you want? Because once I give my heart, I can't take it back. It'll be yours to keep for as long as you live," she says, hoping he can hear the sincerity in her voice.

"I don't see an old woman when I look at you, Minerva. I see courage, strength and intelligence. A woman who knows what she wants and never doubts herself. I love you for all of those things. And I have scars and a past to carry around as well. It doesn't matter to me. I also see a gorgeous woman with expressive, captivating eyes, kissable lips and so much more. I want this. If you do too, that is," Sirius finishes.

Minerva's eyes close, her lips trembling slightly. Sirius doesn't move, which she's grateful for. The moment of utter silence in which they sit unmoving is exactly what she needs. It's been a tiring night, but she needs to appreciate this sliver of beauty and goodness in a world that's so close to entering another war.

"I can't believe this just happened. I'd never expected you to love me too. I'm so grateful for all of this, for this chance on love I never thought I'd have. I can't thank you enough for this," she says, her lips curving into a smile. She knows her eyes are twinkling just like Sirius' were seconds ago.

"You're thanking me by giving me this chance, by being with me. That's more than I could have ever hoped for," she tells her.

And before she knows what's happening, he tugs at her hand. She goes with the motions and finds herself being gently guided onto Sirius's lap. It takes a few seconds to get herself properly arranged, but as soon as he puts his arms around her, she sighs in contentment. She feels at home there, safe and protected.

Then, Sirius dips his head down. She feels his breath ghost over her lips before he ever so gently kisses her. There's no pressure behind the kiss, no demand to give anything either one of this is not ready to give. There's only love, tenderness and appreciation behind the movement of their lips. It's a way of getting to know each other, to acknowledge the bond they have formed.

When they break apart, Minerva rests her forehead against Sirius's. It takes her such an effort to open her eyes that she considers letting herself keep them closed. But she should really head to be so she can sleep, and so should Sirius; it's time to bring their meeting to an end.

"We should head up to bed. In a few hours the youngsters will be out of bed, and Molly will be in the kitchen even before that. And that'll be the end of the night for the rest of us as well. Fred and George will have her worked up in no time," Sirius says, partially voicing her sentiments.

The part he doesn't touch upon is that she doesn't want to head up to the bedroom she always occupies when she spends the night here. She's sure her fears will come back to haunt her in that room, and she doesn't fancy having to deal with nightmares when she finally manages to fall asleep. The couch seems a reasonable alternative. As does one other things, but she's sure she can't have that just yet. She curls her hand into his shirt and presses her face into his shoulder.

However, she finds out she can in fact have what she wants when Sirius speaks once more. His voice is soft and still as tender as before, his hold on her tightening for a fraction of a second to let her know he means what he's saying.

"You don't have to leave my arms if you don't want to. We can stay right here to sleep if you want to. I'll hold you and chase away the fears that keep you up if we stay here. Don't feel pressured in any way, though. I won't mind if you tell me you'd rather head to your bedroom alone or spend the night here on the couch without me," Sirius tells her.

She lets go of his shirt, although she keeps her hand resting right above his heart. He presses a kiss to the top of her head, seemingly understanding what the loosening of her grip had signalled. She needs to tell him, though, to make sure he doesn't misunderstand. She wants to do things right, the ways she's never done it before.

"I would very much like for you to hold me. Won't it be uncomfortable for you, though, sitting up with me on your lap?" she inquires, worrying her bottom lip.

"No, it won't be. It could never be. Holding you, the most precious person in my life beside Harry, will more than make up for any discomfort I might feel in the morning," Sirius assures her.

She angles her head up at those words, pressing a kiss to his jawline. It's exactly what she wanted to hear and she will be damned if she screws this up now. Sirius smiles at her antics, kissing her properly one last time before letting his head fall to the backrest of the couch. Minerva too drops her head, only her again comes to rest on his shoulder.

She can feel Sirius's heart and breathing slow down as the minutes tick by. The man must have been more tired than he let on, she realises, and she vows to make sure he sleeps more than he has been doing lately. Sirius's grip on her doesn't slacken as he falls asleep, though.

She allows her breathing to slow down as well, feeling sleep settle over her. She entwines the fingers of her right hand with Sirius's as she succumbs to it, furthering their connection a little. She smiles at the prospect of waking up in this man's arms, still holding his hand.

And with that thought in her mind, she drifts further into the darkness that's waiting to claim her. Her sleep is undisturbed that night, and the few times that threatens to change, the gently pressure of the arms around her is enough to make her fall asleep again without a second thought.

When she wakes up, she finds they have shifted positions somewhere in the last hour. She's lying on top of Sirius, his arms still securely around her. He is on his back, his head resting on a pillow that definitely wasn't there when they drifted off. She assumes he conjured it when he woke up and carefully guided the both of them down. It's quite amazing he's managed to do that without waking her up.

Judging by the position of the sun, which she can see through the window, it's still early. She can't be sure what time it is, but she guesses it's close to seven. It'll be another half an hour before Molly wakes up and her twins won't be up until eight. So she closes her eyes again, pressing her nose against the soft skin of Sirius's neck. He smells divine, as much like home as her rooms at Hogwarts.

Suddenly, the door creaks open. Startled, she makes to move but finds she can't because Sirius closes his arms more firmly around her. He too opens his eyes, seemingly uncaring someone has just seen them.

That thought makes her look at the door, where Harry is standing. There's a smile tugging at his lips. It is a genuinely happy one, which makes Minerva grant him a smile of her own. Hers is accompanied by a blush, though, as the young man is still her student and she's in a rather compromising situation.

"I won't tell anyone before you guys are ready for them to know. Not even Ron and Hermione," Harry promises readily, moving fully into the room and closing the door behind him. It backs up his words, which really isn't necessary; she knows Harry wouldn't lie about this.

"Thank you, Harry," she says, foregoing the use of his last name. After all, she'll be seeing more of him outside the school if this relationship with Sirius continues. And she most certainly hopes it will. It would only cause unease if she kept referring to him as Potter if she might become a part of his family.

Sirius lets Minerva move, pulling up his legs so they can sit beside each other as Harry moves towards them. When Harry's close enough, he hugs Sirius. Both dark-haired men are smiling and hold on as tightly as possible. It's such a beautiful sight that she silently promises she will make sure to let them meet as frequently as possible. She's sure she'll be able to arrange something. She's a very clever witch, after all.

As soon as Harry lets go of Sirius, he surprises her by opening his arms for her. He doesn't put them around her, though, instead letting her choose whether she wants to hug him and be hugged by him. She opens her arms in turn and hugs Harry for the first time in her life. It's a strange feeling, being this readily accepted, but it brings her great joy as well.

"I can't believe I didn't see this coming! But I'm happy for the both of you. The world really needs some more love to outshine the darkness," Harry says when he lets go of her, showing just how much of an adult he already is at fifteen. He's wise beyond his years, she realises, no longer the baby she placed on the doorstep of the Dursleys fourteen years before.

She nods silently, unsure of what to say. Sirius squeezes her hand lightly and bows his head in agreement at Harry's words. She's relieved to find that communicating with these two men is easier than she'd expected it would be. She's certain there'll be times when she will have to fight to be let in by Sirius and likely by Harry too, but at this moment the walls have disappeared. She tugs Harry down between Sirius and herself, wanting to make him feel as loved and at home as she is.

After a few moments of silence, Harry stands up. judging by the way he moves it's out of necessity and not because he wants to do it. Her suspicions are confirmed when he speaks again.

"I should be going. Ron was already up, and it wouldn't do to let him find you two together. And Fred and George are probably getting dressed by now as well, and they aren't any better," he says, making his way over to the door.

Minerva tugs her legs beneath her, dreading this moment of peace and quiet to have to end. But she understands she won't have too long with Sirius before they're forced to join the others for breakfast and hide the exact extend of their feelings. At least for a little while, until they've had the time to discuss how they'll deal with the raised eyebrow and the questions. Because she doubt all receptions will be as good as Harry's.

"Oh, there's one thing I have to ask you before I go, professor," Harry says as he's about to push the door open.

Minerva looks at him, noticing the twinkle in his eyes that tells he's up to something. But she isn't afraid of what it might be though, only a little nervous. So she meets his green eyes with her own.

"And what would that be, Harry?" she asks, mentally preparing herself for whatever it is he is about to ask her.

"Well, I can't very well call you professor when we're both here, can I? So what should I call you? Minerva? Aunt, maybe?" he teases, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Beside her, Sirius shakes with laughter. It's been a long time since she's heard that joyous sound, and it makes up for her nervousness at hearing Harry's words. She isn't entirely sure how to go about this. But as she can't stay quiet, she finally says what she believes to be best.

"You can choose what you want to call me. Although I'd suggest Minerva of Min. It's a lot more fitting than aunt, I think," she teases in turn, though she doesn't try to extinguish the slight tone of seriousness that remains.

"Then Minerva it is," Harry tells her, beaming widely as he steps into the hallway and disappears from view.

And for some reason, that one little sentence makes it feel as if she's been granted to biggest honour there is. And perhaps she has, as Harry has accepted her in his and Sirius's lives. And that after having been treated so badly his entire life.

And her second vow in less than ten hours is that she will keep Harry safe and happy, for all of their sakes. Because they're a family now, and nothing will ever be able to change that. She simply won't let it.


End file.
